Connection between Kaufman's "I'm Thinking of Ending Things" and Woolf's "To the Lighthouse"

(SPOILERS FOR I'm THINKING OF ENDING THINGS)

So in "To the Lighthouse", Lily Brisco is a painter, much like the lead in Kaufman's film, who paints landscapes but is trying to somehow depict interiority in the painting. It gave me to the lighthouse vibes during the scene in the film when Lucy was endlessly walking down the stairs and talking about how she thinks she is expected to exist as someone to make her boyfriend feel smart and feel like someone respected and whatnot, but the way it was worded felt so much like Woolf I was like "huh".

Then I remembered the dinner scene where she talks about how she *is a painter who wants to depict an interiority in her paintings *. There's a scene in the novel where she has to show her painting (reluctant to do so I believe, much like movie protag) to the family. Almost everyone (not entirely men, but that's the takeaway here) basically is like somewhat polite but they keep asking her questions about what certain abstract shapes MEAN and they basically imply it's not very good because she's trying to do something else / original and she can't explain it well. Much like how the father in the movie keeps questioning her paintings and why she did this and why she did that and implying it would have been better if not for those other ideas (the dad also explicitly says he doesn't like abstract work, the reason why they tear apart lily's painting in to the lighthouse.)

There's also a connection to be made with the mother. In to the lighthouse, Mrs. Ramsey is really the main character (until Lily completely takes over). The novel itself is an attempt to give  Mrs. Ramsay an interiority and depict her complex thoughts. But Mrs. Ramsay, unlike Lily who is more progressive in her thinking, is still sort of an enforcer of the patriarchy (terrible phrasing, I couldn't figure out how to say it). Lily's final painting at the end is basically an attempt to recognize herself, someone who broke free of this pattern, separate from Mrs. Ramsay who was still symbolic of the world that was trying to restrain her, yet still draw some sort of connection and respect to Mrs. Ramsay, who still had a complex internal life despite this, even though Mrs. Ramsay could never quite acknowledge that her internal issues were a result of a patriarchy. We see the defeat of Mrs. Ramsay in Kaufman's film in the mother, who is clearly very broken, and says "life" gets to her, but cannot really understand its from having to appease her husband (even in this moment he says something like "I liked that she used to be so funny", or whatever, prioritizing the use he got from her, not her internal state), and from having to take care of her son, who always needed undivided attention and praise because he was a failure, and needed a woman to comfort him and make him feel special. (all the shit with him not getting a real badge, etc.)

Likewise, in the film, we see the mother, (scene after eating soup as an old lady) younger, dressed very domestically, picking up toys for her son. It's around here that the mother tells her that she should go into the basement despite what the boyfriend tells her and despite his attempts to control her.  Lucy (apparently her name keeps changing throughout film, a further indication building up to her dissolving identity) is the one who goes into the basement. She's the only one who can do it. Even Jake is scared of the basement and cannot go down it (he says he's always feared it, and cannot go down the steps as she descends).

In the basement we see numerous paintings, landscapes, by Jake, and the father as well I believe. We know from the dinner scene Jake is a failed painter himself, and he seems ashamed by this. One of the paintings in basement is explicitly labeled "interiority", or has a phrase with that word. Lucy is the one, who, in her paintings, conveys a sense of interiority. Jake is embarrassed by this, and the father criticizes her work. It's because they have failed at created art with interiority. They don't have a complex interiority, and they are jealous of Lucy for having one. The basement that Jake is so scared of is Lucy's complex inner thoughts. Hence why she find the *failed* attempts of this by the men in the basement.

The film inherently gives Lucy an interiorority by making her the only narrator, and we hear her inner thoughts. From the very beginning, Jake is threatened by this. It's almost as if her can hear her (she thinks "im thinking of ending things, he says," what!?? "). Every time she tries to think, he seems concerned, oh what's wrong, and tries to talk about things instead of letting her think. He always seems bothered by her narration, even though he cannot really hear what she's saying/thinking. But he knows it's there.

This gets even more tense after they leave the house, driving back. Every time she thinks, he straight up interrupts her narration, in a way more anxious /immediate / hostile  than before. As she tries to think, he constantly interrupts her, and he quotes things *constantly * to make up for his lack of internal life. From what I recall, those moments when the two would suddenly laugh, and have a good time? It's when she stops narrating and makes quotes and references along with him. He wants her down at his level.

Tldr, the movie is a horror film about a boyfriend jealous of girlfriends complex interiority, which is supported metanarratively (word? You know what I mean) by her spoken narration. Throughout the film he increasingly tries to interrupt her and grows frustrated, doesn't want to give in to her desires (to go back home) because he wants control. It gets darker and more anxiety inducing, and it ends with him fantasizing that the women do exist to support him (Oklahoma scene) and therefore don't have a complex interiority. This is supported metanarratively by him hijacking the film itself and abandoning Lucy to focus on his fantasy.

Sorry for my scattered thoughts. I've never written about movies and whatnot before for fun but I might try to do a more complex paper with textual evidence for myself just because this made me so excited. I haven't read the book the movie is based on so no clue if this stuff is present there. Nothing came up for a search containing both to the lighthouse, and I'm thinking of ending things, so maybe I'm crazy (or the people reviewing it just haven't read Woolf's book...). I'd like to watch the film again for sure.

Edit: Also, I'm not sure how to reconcile this with the heavily implied idea that The Janitor is the one creating the Lucy/Jake story in his head. These ideas are kinda contradictory. But I do think these scenes have a connection to the novel in some way at the very least.